Subject: FOR NEWBIES - Guide to abreviations used on board
Author: Deconstructor - (updated Sep 2010)
Here's my list of abreviations and special vocabulary used on Recovery from Mormonism Board

AP - Assistants to the President, mission president's top missionaries/henchmen
BIC - Born In the Covenant (parents had been sealed in the temple prior to your birth)
BIL - Brother-in-Law
BKP - Boyd K Packer
BoA - Book of Abraham
BoM - Book of Mormon
BP - Branch President
BTW - By The Way
BY - Brigham Young
BYU - Brigham Young University
CHI - Church Handbook of Instruction
CK - Celestial Kingdom, where God lives and all Mormon believers strive to reach
COB - Church Office Building
COJCOLDS - Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
COP - Corporation of the President
CTR - Choose the Right, a mormon saying and common sybmol on rings worn by Mormons
D&C - Doctrine and Covenants
DH - Dear Husband
DL - District Leader, responsible for 3 or 4 sets of missionaries
EQ - Elder's Quorum
ET - Ezra Taft Benson
FAIR - Foundation for Apologetic Information & Research, apologetic organization
FARMS - Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies, Church apologetic organization
FIL - Father-in-Law
FKAM - Formerly Known As Mormon
FPR - Faith Promoting Rumor
FS - Fast Sunday
FTM - Fast and Testimony Meeting
F&T - alternate for fast and testimony meeting
G - Grin
GA - General Authority
GBH - Gordon B. Hinckley
HC - High Council
HP - High Priest
HT - Home Teacher
IMO - In My Opinion
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMNSHO - In My Not So Humble Opinion
ISPART - Institute for the Study and Preservation of Ancient Religious Texts, church apologetic organization
JoD - Journal of Discources
JS - Joseph Smith
JW - Jehova's Witnesses
LDS - Latter-Day-Saint
LOL - Laugh Out Loud
MIL - Mother-in-Law
MINO Mormon In Name Only
MMM - Mountain Meadows Massacre
MP - Mission President
MTC - Missionary Training Center
NT and N/T - No Text message (only a subject)
OMG - Oh My God
PEC - Priesthood Executive Meeting
PH - Priesthood
PoP - Perl of Great Price
PoGP - Pearl of Great Price
PPI - Personal Priesthood Interview
ROFL- Roll on the Floor Laughing
ROFLMAO - Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Ass Off
ROFLMAO/PIMP - Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off and Peeing In My Pants
RM - returned missionary; prime marriage prospect for young LDS women
RS - Relief Society
RSP - Relief Society President
SHC - Stake High Council
SIL - Sister-in-Law
SP - Stake President
SWQ - Spencer W. Kimbal
TBC - True believing Christian
TBM - True Blue Mormon or True Believing Mormon
TSCC - "The So-Called Church"
VT - Visiting Teacher
WTG - Way To Go
YM - Young Mens
YSA - Young Single Adult
YW - Young Womens
ZL - Zone Leader, responsible for several districts


Angel Chaps - garments
Apes - see AP above
Apologetic - someone who tries explaining the inconsistencies or other problems with the Church in a positive light
Backslider - someone trying to be active in the Church but cant seem to fall in line
Baker's Hat - stupid temple ceremony head gear
Big 15 - LDS president, two counsellors and 12 apostles
Branch - a small Mormon parish
Closet Doubter - Someone who dosen't believe the Church anymore, but still is active and pretends to be a believer
Correlation - Church program started in the 1960's to completely overhaul the church organization and centralize total control of the Church to the Apostles and First Presidency.
Courts of Love - diciplinary council where you get exed
Crutch - Mormon Church
Discussions - 6 canned lessons that all missionaries teach to "Investigators"
Eric - He owns this place and his word is law
Ex -excommunicate
Exed - excommunicated
Exmo - Ex-Mormon
Funeral potatoes - a typical dish at Mormon functions or deliverd as a charitable gesture when someone dies
Garmies - Garments
Golden Contact = someone the mishies definately think will agree to a baptism after the 6 discussions
Great-and-Spacious Building - The new $500mil church conference center in Salt Lake City
Happy Valley - Provo Utah, high concentration of Mormons and home of BYU
Herms - sister missionaries, comes from Spanish term "Hermanas"
Ivory Tower - Phalic-looking Church Office Buildiing in Salt Lake City
Investigator - someone taking the missionary discussions
Jesus Jammies - garments
Kolob - sun nearest to where God lives, according to Mormon scripture
Lurker - Someone who frequents reading the board but rarely if ever posts
Mainstreaming - the Mormon Church's changing it's own doctrine, practices and image to look more Christian
Mishies - Missionaries
McTemple - a Mormon Mini-Temple
Mormon Corridor - Arizona, Utah, Idaho high-density mormon states
Mormon Salute - gesture made by Mormons constantly pulling their underwear out of their butts
Morg - the Church acting like a Star Trek Borg Collective, "Mormon Borg"
Morgbot - a Mormon who demonstrates lack of independant thought, "Mormon Borg Robot"
Moron - a Mormon who demonstrates lack of independant thought
Nevermo - someone who has never been a member of the Church
Newbie - someone new to the board or new to the whole concet that the church is a hoax
Pay Lay Ale - a chant from the temple ceremony that was supposed to mean, "Oh God, hear the words of my mouth." It was deleted when the temple ceremony was modernized in the 1990s; a metaphore for all that's weird in the church and it's habit of changing what was supposed to be directly revealed and completely perfect in the first place.
Pod - a Mormon who follows leaders blindly
Polygamy - one man being married to more than one wife, also known as "Polygyny"
Polyandry - two men married to the same woman at the same time which was praticed by early church leaders
Profit - psudonym for "Prophet"
QuadCom - a 3" thick 4-in-1 edition of the LDS standard works that has become a popular replacement for a Bible and triple combination
Sacred Skivvies - garments
Smoking Gun - fact or evidence that indicates the Church is a fraud
Stake - a collection of Wards
Sticks - Scriptures
The Y - BYU, not YMCA
Troll - someone who posts a rude/ignorant message "trolling" for responses. See also the entry for Troll in the Jargon File.
Ward - standard Mormon parish
White Bible - strict rulebook given to all missionaries

For a comprehensive list of other Mormon vocabulary, see:


Breed'em Young - Brigham Young
Ezra - Ezra Taft Benson
Gordy - current Church President Gordon B. Hinckley
Hinckster - current Church President Gordon B. Hinckley
Horn Dog - Jospeh Smith
KKK- Boyd K. Packer
Nibler - famous mormon apologist, Hugh Nibley
Quinn - famous mormon historian, Michael Quinn
Kimby - Spencer W. Kimball
Tanners - Famous Anti-Mormons, Gerald and Sandra Tanner