I saw the ultimate Mormon Temple garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
motherfreaker June 2012
I was at a soccer game this evening sitting next to a social Mormon whose daughter plays on one of the teams. Social Mormon guy is known to enjoy a beer after games with the parents, he swears when his wife isn't around, and he is a pretty cool guy. The local Ward's Bishop's Counselor has a daughter on the opposite team and during halftime he came over to greet the guy.
Social Mormon guy was wearing a black, dry-fit UnderArmor t-shirt. Bishopric guy walked over, placed his hand on social guy's shoulder and rubbed his shoulder and upper arm checking for the magic garments.
Social guy, knowing what was happening, looked at Bishopric guy and said, "Only my wife touches me like that and she would be jealous if she knew you liked me like that." Bishopric guy, with a raised eyebrow, asks, "Aren't you missing something under that shirt?" Social guy says, "Not right now."
Bishopric guy looks at me (he doesn't know who I am) and I ask him, "Are you his secret boyfriend?" Bishopric guy extends his hand and tells me that he is social guy's ecclesiastical leader. I shake his hand and say, "Nice to meet you. I figured you were his lover by the way you were stroking his shoulder."
Bishopric guy turns red, stutters and stammers for a few seconds, adjusted his shirt, and excused himself. Social guy explained to me that he was checking for his temple garments and that he usually wears them only at church or when church people are around. He doesn't know that I used to be LDS so I feign ignorance.
And it was over.
What an interesting few minutes I experienced. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Bishopric guy squirm when I accused him of being Social Guy's lover.
bc
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Nice!
Mia
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Ecclesiastical leaders feeling people up. ROFLMAO!
Yeah, the sp tried that with me. I totally humiliated him in front of about 20 people.
That little feel up needs to stop. So inappropriate.
waner
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Ha, funny. Nice to see the underwear police is out in force.
flyboy21
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
An ecclesiastical leader trying to feel for underwear? Sounds a smidgen to the right of the legal boundaries of sexual harassment, methinks...
menomore
You have to be in Utah! I can't imagine a member in the -
"mission field" doing that. How intrusive and rude. Seems as if you and social guy handled him well.
sexismyreligion
That's hilarious!
I would have loved to see his face when you said that!
Greg
Awesome, I like your style.
hellrazor
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Way to go! If that bishop's going to feel for the temple-sponsored undies, he should get some accusations of being a pervert!
forestpal
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Good one!
Yeah, why should WE be embarrassed at what they do to us.
A few of my divorced women friends and I got so sick of this, that we decided to react, instead of just ignore the feel-up. It was usually the men who would do this. We felt small, and vulnerable, without a husband to protect us. I used to physically push their hand off my body, and back away, and tell them loudly, "Don't do that!"
Ew. One of the many things I didn't like about the Mormon cult.
Stumbling
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Brilliant.
When asked by the Bishop about your garment wearing you can respond by talking about his counsellors struggle with same sex attraction.
xyz
ROTFLMFAO!!!
I almost wept from the specialness of that super-spirchul story...
Or maybe it was sheer jealousy for your ability to say the most appropriate thing at exactly the right moment!
:-)
Itzpapalotl
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Serves that bishoprick right. Those people need a lesson in proper boundries.
nonmo
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
"Bishopric guy looks at me (he doesn't know who I am) and I ask him, "Are you his secret boyfriend?" Bishopric guy extends his hand and tells me that he is social guy's ecclesiastical leader. I shake his hand and say, "Nice to meet you. I figured you were his lover by the way you were stroking his shoulder.""
Wow....the cynical side of me finds it hard to believe that this exchange would actually take place amongst both the "chosen ones" and the unwashed..(mos and nonmos).
I do live in Utah and I've seen some strange social interactions...If this is true, then good for you. Hopefully it made that bishop feel like an a$$ for trying to project his "authority" with nonmos watching......
dogzilla
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
I think that's beautiful because really, the only people who have appeared to seem concerned about my underwear have been lovers. So your comment makes logical sense in the nonmormon world.
mrwinternight
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Now that is funny Lol
shannon
Hahahahahahahah!!!!! CLASSIC!
Especially because neither dude knew you were LDS. Mormons just don't realize what FREAKS they look like to the rest of the world!
;o)
CA girl
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
OK, you are officially my hero of the day. It's not worth anything to you - but you are my hero. I LOVE it when people can come up with the perfect thing to say on the spur of the moment like that.
It's weird how someone can check out the underwear of someone who isn't their spouse, or significant other, or child (diapers) because they truly believe God himself has chosen them to make sure people are wearing the right underwear ... and then not have part of their brain screaming "I think I'm in a freakin' Cult!"
Mormon Observer
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
You've inspired me with something I can say next time someone tries to feel me up for garments!
I can say very loudly " I don't know why you're checking to see what kind of underwear I'm wearing because I always wear something to hold these boulders in place!"
Making out like the man is checking to see if I'm wearing a bra. that ought to keep em off me.
So glad I don't go to church anymore, but there is always a chance I'll run into some pushy mother from the ward....
well done by the way.
adoylelb
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
This story is CLASSIC!! It just shows Mormons that the outside world considers them to be in a freaky cult.
spaghetti oh
Ha! I love it!
Nicely done, Motherfreaker! And the Social Mormon guy too!
Rebeckah
I wonder what would happen if you pushed them away from you and said:
"Don't touch me. I don't like to be touched by random people." ?
I really don't like to be touched by people so it's something I wouldn't have a hard time saying. :)
baura
Ex Mo Do
Aren't there a lot of martial arts moves that begin with the "attacker's" hand on the upper part of the "victim's" body and end with the "attacker" on the ground writhing in pain?
delt1995
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
Ask him: "I saw you caressing that man. "are you funny"?
summer
Yup.
Basically, you clamp down on the hand that's on you and manipulate your attacker's wrist with your other hand.
Mia
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
I've told this story before, but this brings it all back.
My sp, whom I can't stand, and he knows it, came up to me in the foyer and put his arm around me at shoulder height. He was rubbing my arm. I knew nothing about the garment feel up (tgfu) at the time.
I was so annoyed with him touching me though. Creeped me out. I rolled away from him and in a very loud voice said: Don't touch me! He looked shocked. There were at least 20 people standing there that also looked shocked. I then left and went out to my car.
If I would have known about TGFU I would have made a much bigger scene.
barb
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
its probably a tactic they teach them during their special meetings...so garish, rude, non of their freaking business...
i loved how you all have handled these freaks!
mistymemories
Re: I saw the ultimate garment feel up followed by the raised eyebrow today
How invasive of him...almost an assult..I mean feeling someone up like that! Congratulations though on an excellent comeback. :)
"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"