The Book of Mormon Jesus! I found something that reached a Mormon spouse.
fundamentard Mar 2014
If you have a true believing spouse as I do you might have already discovered that the only way to get their attention is to work from within their paradigm. They simply will not listen to outside sources with the same respect or reverence.
That said, The thing that has gotten her attention the most has been me pointing out how the Book of Mormon Jesus slaughtered millions of people in America immediately after completing his great work of love salvation and rescue.
She actually acknowledged how silly and ridiculous it was to impugn such motivations and pettiness to the Same Jesus Who had come into the world, according to her story, not to condemn it but to save it.
She was so used to hearing the story that I think it was very surprising to her to realize fully what it was actually saying.
Jesus. Killing. Millions. He gives his life for mankind then goes on a rampage that makes Godzilla look discriminating in comparison. It's so stupid it makes my hair hurt.
If Joseph Smith wrote the BoM today he would have Jesus and the prophets as MMA champions or Kung Fu heroes instead of swordsman, but it would be no more ludicrous.
King Fu
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Bully for you. I am going to try it but my husband might actually approve:(
judyblue
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Yes! That's always been one of my favorites. How do you go from "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" straight to genocide?
Riverman - not logged in
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Not just genocide, but killing people that had nothing to do with his torture and killing.
Chicken N. Backpacks
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Patiently waiting for trolls and apologists to explain this one...
(Sound of Jeopardy music)
............................................?
anonrit3n0w
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
I'm wracking my brain trying to remember that part of the BoM but can't. When did magic Godzilla Superman Jesus do all this mass slaughtering?
serena
No shyte? I had no idea that was in the BoM. Chapter & verse?
Just when I think things, Mormonism included, cant get an weirder, I find out Jesus went all Tarantino. That is SO messed up.
Stray Mutt
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Didn't the idea of Jesus the Smiter come to destroy the wicked and cast them down to hell come from hard@ss Protestant theologians like John Calvin? And didn't it get new play during the first and second Great Awakening, particularly with guys like Jonathan "sinners in the hands of an angry God" Edwards? So a Jesus that slaughtered the unrighteous would have been a familiar idea to 19th century folks. Wasn't the all-loving, good shepherd Jesus, a more modern invention?
Hold Your Tapirs
Re: No shyte? I had no idea that was in the BoM. Chapter and verse?
3 Nephi chapters 8, 9, and 10 should do it.
utahstateagnostics
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
3rd Nephi.
Earthquakes, fires, tornadoes, etc. killed everyone but the most righteous.
serena
Hahaha! It certainly isn't starting out on a serious note!
"And now it came to pass that according to our record, and we know our record to be true, for behold, it was a just man who did keep the record for he truly did many miracles in the name of Jesus, and there was not any man who could do a miracle in the name of Jesus save he were cleansed every whit from his iniquity_ And it came to pass if there was no mistake made by this man in the reckoning of our time, the 30 and third year has passed away; and the people began to look with great earnestness for the sign which had been given by the Prophet Samuel the Lamanite, yea, for the time that there should be a darkness for the space of 3 days over the face of the land."
That is all one, ONE sentence, given the presence of save it were one period in lo the whole thing, and it maketh no sense, no, not a whit.
And right off if starts with protestations that it really IS true, really. How do you know you're about to have your leg pulled in a big way? THIS.
The BoM is just laughable.mI'm barely into Nephi 3: 8 and I'm snickering already!
serena
oh good lord, seriously?
verse 10:
"And the earth was carried up upon the city of Moronihah 《hahaha, what?》 that in the place of the city there became a great mountain."
Terrible. Makes no fracking sense. Oh, ok, it was buried - then say so!
Verse 13: Joe liked Isaiah, sure nuff.
Wordy, and wordy, and wordy - where is my blue pencil??.
verse 19, clearly he was making it up as he went along.
Jesus Christ, get ON with it, man! How do mormons stand it? This is terrible. Yeah, there was no light, we get it, now move ON before I throttle you, Joe!
Woe is spelled with an 'e', morons. Fix it. Not "wo".
nailamindi
Re: oh good lord, seriously?
I don't know what this says about me, but I never had any issues with Jesus killing all the people. It seemed kind of old testamenty, lots of people being destroyed there.
But all the earthquakes and mountains being created? Huge shelf item. That's not how plate tectonics works. And there are no geological features that fit those descriptions that happened 2000 years ago. I always figured they were just exaggerating for artistic effect or something... Oh if I had only used my critical thinking skills to follow that thought at the time...
serena
But wait, there's more
This is painfully, headbangingly repetitious.
Buried up in the earth? No, Joe, just buried. If its anything, its buried down, but its not even that.
Nephi ch 9 verse 9: ... that the blood of the prophets and the Saints should not come up unto me anymore against them." What?
vs. 11: "... might be hid from before my face..." What?
"Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God" When did Jesus ever give himself that last name, or use that Greek word?
vs 15: Aha, evidence they forgot to change supporting the trinity. Oops.
Ch 10: Enough with the hens and chickens. Funny, Ol Jesus could speak so much better in the NT. In the BOM he sounds curiously just like Joe. Hmm.
Vs 9, finally the darkness lifted and the earth trembling, rending groaning, tumultuous noises ceased... wait. I thought in verse 1 it said there was silence for many hours? Carry on.
Verse 14: Quick jump to the 19th century audience, apparently. Boy, thats awkward. Zenos, Zenock, huh?
It could drive one to drink.
Facing Tao
Re: oh good lord, seriously?
But if this is like "The Matrix", and Jesus is like Neo, then he would be able to shape any matter any way he wanted. :-) This is anyway the last fall-back position of the apologists: the known laws of physics no longer apply. Reality can be shaped totally fluidly to match any story, no matter how unlikely it might be.
HopefulNOM
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
wow I'm BIC, I still go but wish I didn't. What I can't believe is I wasn't sure what the OP was talking about. Amazing how things are glossed over in lessons. The images we see in church are always of happy Jesus teach the nephites and blessing all the children.
Most people at church don't actually know what the church they're at technically believes (including myself sometimes)
anontipper
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Jesus does not need to explain his actions to apostates. He does what is right. Deal with it.
jacob
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Hahahahahahahaha, wait, you were being serious.
serena
Oh no, she/he wasn't kidding?
Facing Tao
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Even when it requires killing of entire peoples of a nation? Indeed, very old-testamenty. I thought Jesus came to basically alter that message/teaching to compassion and unconditional love?
hello
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
There was an earthquake in Jerusalem when Jesus died, according to the NT. But it wasn't a destructive earthquake. The sky got dark too, supposedly, but again, not destructive. The temple veil tore, but that was not due to destructive events, and graves were supposedly opened and the dead came forth, but again, no destructions or deaths, only "godly events". So take off your apologist's hat, and go read the NT. :)
Chicken N. Backpacks
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
That part of the BoM was a Michael Bay production.
schmendrick
Re: Hahaha! It certainly isnt starting out on a serious note!
Mark Twain was right.
Elder What's-his-face
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! Here is a good link
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,467584,467584#msg-467584
boydslittlefactory
Re: The Epic Jesus Slaughterfest! I found something that reached TBM spouse.
Correction:
Imaginary deities such as mormon Jesus cannot explain their actions to apostates (or anyone else for that matter)!
"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"