Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator

by sherlock Jan 2012

Having asked to be released from my previous ward clerk calling due to opening up to bishop about my unbelief and lack of temple recommend (still attend church due to family situation), I knew Bishop would try and call me to something else.

So after three months of having no calling, he finally invites me into his office one Sunday and tells me that the Lord has revealed to him the perfect calling that won't require me to teach or do anything that puts me in an awkward situation regarding how I really feel about the church. Yes, he calls me to coordinate all of the member chapel cleaning.

I very nearly burst out laughing. It then took me all of about 10 seconds to straight out reject the call stating that I personally have a big problem with the new church initiative and don't support it, that I feel it's purely a corporate decision to save money, that I feel bad for all the janitors let go and that since I have no intention of ever cleaning the chapel I'm not about to start hounding other members to do likewise.

The look on his face was priceless. He was visibly shocked and you could sense that he was trying to reconcile the 'good feelings' that he probably felt when earlier that morning the bishopric no doubt knelt to pray about my call and received their witness that this was indeed the Lord's will for Brother Sherlock.

I did actually feel a bit bad for him. He's a really nice guy, very understanding of my situation and he does mean well. I hope I've perhaps helped in some way to add another straw to his 'camel's back of cog dis' and I look forward to seeing which mug gets called in my place, to what must be a pretty thankless job.

thingsithink
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
Couldn't you have taken the gig as coordinator then told him the lord told you to call him to be on the actual crew?

It's actually nice the he called you because now you can get extra pleasure in not doing the cleaning. I feel sorry for the guy who is the lord's second choice to clean the toilets.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2012 02:27AM by thingsithink.

sherlock
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
Good point, but he's genuinely such a nice, humble guy that he probably would give up one of his few evenings at home to come and scrub toilets.

Having worked with the bishopric for a number of years, I'm also aware that while God is omnipotent, omniscient etc... he sometimes sucks as a recruiter. But he's always pretty good to have a back up plan and he knows that you rarely have to get to name 5 on the candidate shortlist before someone finally says yes.

boiseguy
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
In other words "we know you're not one of us now but we got u by the balls because of ur family situation so now clean up after us."
thingsithink
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
It's hard to know if he's really nice until he gets his nuts back from the mormon church, if ever.

munchybotaz
And you don't think there was any intention of punishment? 

suckafoo
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
I just love the titles they give people for callings. "coordinator" indeed.

goldenrule
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
Yeah. My previous bishop was a nice man too so I felt kinda bad when I laughed in his face and said H NO when he tried to call me to nursery (for the 3rd time).

templeendumbed
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
Nice response Sherlock

However, if you were dive in and really keep those commodes clean your ward could come to know you as No s**t Sherlock

motherwhoknows
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
>>>"He's a really nice guy, very understanding of my situation and he does mean well."<<

NOT! Talk about being put into an awkward situation--trying to coerce friends and neighbors into doing free janitorial work? I think "coordinator" must be the most dreaded person in the ward, but since you are doomed for unpopularity anyway, the bishop figures you are disposable.

Yes, it is punishment for you. My brother had that job, and he ended up doing the cleaning himself, a lot of the time. My brother was an unemployed con-man, who lived off the family.

I hope your wife is very aware of your loss of friendship and respect. Seriously, I was shocked and disgusted at the way the Mormons harassed and belittled my husband when he left, and I left soon after he did. Our real friends weren't Mormons, anyway. Be patient with your wife. Include her in all your confrontations with Mormons. I wish she could have been there for your talk with the bishop. What an eye-opener! I laughed at his sales-pitch on that garbage job for you.

Don Bagley
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
Church Commode Cleaning Comrade, what a title--must pay well! Whah, no pay? You gotta get yourself a whole 'nother church, bro.

sherlock
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
MWK - what I didn't mention is that he previously tried to call me to another couple of things, which I declined so I do think his intentions are genuine. I can well imagine that some asshat bishops would definitely do this as a punishment, but this guy is one of the very few good ones. We've talked at length about my disaffection and he's never once tried to judge me and has shown genuine concern. I suspect having worked his way through all the other callings that he knows I wouldn't do, there wasn't very much left on the list.

I know I probably sound like I'm defending him but he is one of the few TBMs that I have complete respect for. He even told me afterwards that if I ever have any ideas of any other non-leadership or temple recommend dependent callings I'd like to do, just let him know and he'll make it happen!

Ps - my wife is pretty NOM and only really stays because of her friendships in the ward and through not wanting to upset her ageing father who is on his last legs and would be totally distraught to think his only daughter had strayed. This suits us both ok for the time being. Knowing me and my concerns oh so well, she also thought it was hilarious that Bishop tried to call me to something that I've been so against and it's further compounded her view that there's no revelation in these things whatsoever.

Greyfort
Re: And you don't think there was any intention of punishment?
munchybotaz Wrote:
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> And you don't think there was any intention of punishment?

That's what I was thinking. It sounds to me more like he felt your place was in the john and was trying to put you in your place. They can hide behind that "nice" mask when they need to.

That's where the Lord wants you to be? Taking care of the bathroom? Nice.

alex71ut
Ward Doctrine Reform Coordinator or Church History Coordinator
How about being the Ward Doctrine Reform Coordinator where you have a free hand to get your Ward's doctrines taught in classes reformed to more closely match the truth?

jpt
Or from the other direction....
I've known a few people who used to have great individual personalities when no-mos (though married to a mormon), who converted, and now are faceless, pod people, white shirt and tie-wearing mormons. Lobotomized, methinks.

jazzskeeter
Re: Bishop tried to call me as chapel cleaning coordinator
The cleaning coordinator in my old ward often ended up staying for hours on saturday morning doing the work himself when no one showed up!

"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"